The Tom Patterson Style Guide

 Dates on essays can be in European or Yankish styles depending on if you use APA or MLA.  Normally I would call that pointless and that the date styles should simply be such that if it is being published in the USA you use M/D/Y and in europe D/M/Y, and to simply use the conventions of the area where it is being released, but with the advent of online publishing, this is no longer worth the bother.  Of course this only applies to english language publications, ones in other languages can simply use the one standard in their language. The thing is that numbered months are only ever used in shorthand dates, and never in real conversations.  Therefore the names of months should be written out in full or in the abbreviated forms.  Therefore the order doesn't matter and it's clear regardless because one of them is a number and the other is a word. Oh, and if you're using two-digit years, use an apostrophe before it. CHANGE MY MIND!!!!!!!!!

    I am aware that this is an odd choice of a topic to cover, but this is important for a style guide to be universal.  A style guide should be able to work for every language and this one should be no different, and while it started as giving grammatical info on English, in order to cover formatting which should be consistant between languages Norwegian needs special consideration for one simple reason: it has two different written standards.     Many languages have no particular written standard.  There is no formal standard form of English, rather there are some dialects that people usually write in, but this is somewhat unique, hence why I need to standardise it in this blog.  Norwegian has two: Nynorsk and Bokmål.     When writing a TPSG paper in Norwegian, you can mix and match Nynorsk and Bokmål, just as in english, you can say both "He's hasn't done anything wrong" and "He ain't done nothing wrong" because of the special rules for using "ai

Here I have addressed in many ways the decline of our language.  In fact, that is largely the purpose of this blog.  However I do not believe I have directly addressed the topic of “learnëd borrowing”. Learned borrowing is when a word is loaned from a dead language.  Typically, such a word is borrowed in written form, and then read as if it were native vocabulary, and this is understandable, often we didn’t know how words used to be probounced, so it made sense to do so.  However today we do. However, the fact we have uncovered the way the Romans pronounced their latin doesn’t mean we should go and retroactively change the pronunciation of older loanwords.  Many of these loanwords entered during the renaissance and have gone through sound shifts with our native vocabulary, not to mention semantic shifts all along the way.  However, learned borrowing continues, and nowadays we do know how the romans pronounced their words.  To distinguish such new loans, I suggest using macrons.   Macro

Finna is the only way to talk about the imminent future.  Will and gonna cannot be used, and you have to use the progressive.  Otherwise you’re a wrong stupid idiot and should stop talking untill you can talk right.   CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 As we all know many english words have their roots in greek.  However, some of these are not properly spelled in accordance with their roots.  For instance, "guitar" comes from the greek "κιθάρα", and thus, should be spelled "kithara", with a silent "a" on the end and a "k" pronounced like a "g".  Another example, "selfie" clearly comes from the greek "σέλφι", and should be spelled "selphi".  "Film" (as in movie, film in the other sense is unrelated, coming from Proto-Germanic *filminją) comes from the greek "φιλμ", and should be spelled "philm".  This goes on and on, so many words are spelled with blatant disregard for their totally real greek origin. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The past participle of “run” is “a-rinnen” or “yrinnen”  It is neither “run” nor “ran”, as in “I had yrinnen a mile.”.  It is simply due to ignorance that people do not use the correct form. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 To use a double negative and have it be a negative, you must negate in a special way.  While "I didn't do nothing" means "I did something", "ne did I nawhit" means "I didn't do anything".  Similarly "I ain't done nothing" is also a negative. CHANGE MY MIND!!! 

 If a word is loaned from etruscan, such as phersu, if it is spelled with a "p", "t", or "k", it should be pronounced with either [b~p], [t~d], or [k~g].  However, it should not be pronounced with [pʰ], [tʰ], or [kʰ].  Because of aspiration in english, "tezan" should be pronounced as /dɛtsæn/, because prevocalic consonants in english are aspirated, but "tmia", a generic term for an independent holy site not owned by any particular church, should be /tmjɑ/.  Another example is "zeri", describing a type of weather in which the sky is completely clear of clouds, which is pronounced /tsɛri/. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 Preposition are great to end sentences with.  In fact, the end of a sentence is where all people should want their prepositions at.  In fact, the end is always where you should  always try to move a preposition to.  In fact, it is even clarity that this should be done at the expense of.  Such ugly writing is something that you should not put up with.  You are the one that this should be done by. CHANGE MY MIND!!! Edit: One of the rarest rules grammatically is that when it comes to any sentence, a preposition is what it has to end with. German  trennbarë verben  do this, but only kind of.  When a clause is what they're at the end of, a prepositional prefix is almost always not what they end with.

 I forgot to mention this in the initial post, but "tur" alliterates with "take".  "you tura and take" sounds really good , and on the merits of it being a monosyllble which alliterates really well with "take" and similar words like "try".  "He turcé the tul-tezan" is easy to alliterate, and with the simple syllables it allows, it shouldn't be to hard to see why loaning these words, tuche from Etruscan, was a good idea. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 We should loan the etruscan word "φersu" with the plural "φersuar".  We could spell it the way the etruscans did too!  It is the origin of person, and it means a mask worn in a play.  No, I do not care that this will be the third word we took from "𐌘𐌄𐌓𐌔𐌖".  Normally I would advocate this "φersuar" as the correct spelling for "person", and if the "n" was silent, then I would, but I think we need to loan it because we need more loans from Etruscan.  Also, Ynglish has some doublets already, so why not make some more? I believe we should combat the Romancisation of Ynglish by loaning from other languages.  This being said, because loanwords do not usually displace words from the lexicon of a language when coming into the wordhoard, I think we should be even more liberal when loaning, and also when coining simply because this gives us even more of a rich diversity of synonyms and near synonyms, and also makes it easier to rhy

 Please do not use the term womxn.  For fuck's sake, it is a quantity neutral term.  This is the most stupid neologism I have ever heard.  The only time you would ever use this is when constructing a sign of the variety that you would otherwise have to say "lady(ies)".  In that context alone it is sensible, and that is it.  Furthermore, other terms like "Mx." are equally frivilous.  New roots are, in my opinion, always better than using <x> by derivation from its freqvent use as a variable in math classes.  For fuck's sake, use "Guv.", it has always been genderless, and it deserves more love as a word.  Finally, "latinx" is dumb, and either loan it without the gender from Spanish, or if you want to keep adjective inflexion, use "latiné", /e/ at the end of a word is genderless in spanish. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

       So, this word's a unique one.  It comes from the French word gourmet, so you would expect that I, as an advocateaur for historical spelling by analogy (see earlier post on fruight), would support spelling it the way the French did, as we should write "queynte", not "cunt".  The problem is this: the French were spelling it wrong too.  Lo, the original word was the english "grome", and while I do like myself an archæic spelling (heck, I spell it "diæ̈resis"!), I would never behold another language to poison its own orthography with english loanwords, nor would I suggest spelling as somewhere for metathesis be ignored in.  No, I would suggest the French should've gone with "gourmé", and as such, we anglophones should spell it "gourmé".  "É" is already basically an english letter, we add it to words which never had it in the original language, and this is a better way to write "gourmé", because,

 Fruight is frequently spelt without the "gh" it should be spelt with.  To spell it "fruit" is to deny the etymology of the word.  Because in German it is spelled "frucht", we ought to restore the historical spelling and add back in the <gh>. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 It has come to my attention that some are spelling a certain rude word for the female reproductive system incorrectly.  "Cunt", when used to refer to the female reproductive organs should be spelled "queynte", whereas the more Scottish or Australian senses should be considered more mundane, and continue tot be spelled "cunt".  I believe that this splitting of spelling will be able to aaid in the usage of spelling to disambiguate homophones in the written word. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 It has recently come to my attention that people in Belize do not count by scores.  I consider this a grave affront to the Mesoamerican Sprachbund.  Furthermore, they do not begin every sentence with a verb, especially if it isn't a question, nor do they mark possession with the form "its dialect, Belizes".  If you are from Belize and reading this, what are you afraid of?  Speak your dialect correctly so its more interesting!   CHANGE MY MIND!!! PS. Also, english already has some prepositions as body parts, so making "tongue to" or "in tongue of" a word for inside would be a very nice relational noun.

 It has recently come to my attention that I may've been spreading misinformation.  I would like to apologise for neglecting the important distinction between "guv" and "guv'na".  "Guv" is to be used with people of authority you know well, like your boss, whereas "guv'na" is to be used when meating them for the first time, or with a stranger of authority.  Nonetheless, "sir" should only be used to refer to knights. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

     Contrary to what this article says , there is a correct way to use "toward" and "towards", and that is never using one twice in a row.  You have to alternate them each time you use one.  If you just said "toward", you can't say "toward" again until you say "towards" and vice versa.  If you don't do that, you seem to have such a small vocabulary that you can't give variety in your speech. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

    As you all know, traditionally, one would use where/whence/whither.  However, this is no longer true.  Where from, to, or at, are replacing the older words.  If you decide not to use whence or whither, then the end of the sentence is where the preposition should be at.  But if you want to ask about location, wherest is correct, as in "wherest the computer".   This being said, it is preferable, generally, to end a sentence with a preposition. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

      Some may claim that you should move the verb to the start of the sentence to ask a question.  This is false.  You can also, more correctly, form them with the question particle "innit?", which goes at the end of the sentence.  Other questions should be formed differently.  When the abilitative aspect is used in the second person, the infinitive should be used, without "to" and the question particle "cos" is to be used at the start if the sentence. CHANGE MY MIND!!! Edit: eh? is also acceptible

 At the lattest conference of the illuminatti we decided that english needs a new question word.  It was decided to be "whints", meaning "how many".  This is all.  I say that it should be immediately adopted. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 There are many ways the word GIF could be pronounced,  with over 48 possible pronunciations.  These all have varying degrees of merit.  I have finally stumbled upon the best argument of all: a way, which when pronounced, gives the appearance of symmetry in the IPA: [ɟɪf].  This is it.  The correct way to pronounce has been found, let's all learn to pronounce [ɟ], and then start correctly pronouncing GIF.  I myself am glad to learn that I was wrong so I could stop being wrong about it at all.  And if you refuse to change then you are no better than the people who were so stuck in the past that they committed the White Terror CHANGE MY MIND!!!

It appears to me that some people on the left don't know how to use the suffix “-ism” to refer to discrimination.  I hate to be pedantic, but “ableism” is a poorly derived term.  “Sexism”, “colourism”, “ageism”, “racism”, etc. are all formed by derivation from a noun.  “Able” is not a noun, according to both of Urban Dictionary and Wiktionary.  According to the OED it can be used as a noun meaning the letter "A".  I would like to point out that it isn't what ableism is supposedly discriminating based on, how disabled someone is, it must be derived from a noun meaning the degree to which someone is disabled, something like disablednessism, or abilityism, or ablenessism, something like that.  Alas, there is no way to correct these things, we can only backform to make them retroactively gramatical when it comes to malderived constructions. Actually no, in achieving common usage, ableism has neccesarily created a new sense of the word "able", as in "His abl

 Recently I have discovered that the degeneracy at root in all modern institutions has spread to my textbooks.  I would like to remind people that the leader of thte rightt wing of the Nazischweine Party's last name is correctly spelt in english "Ittla" in accordance with the pronounciation of his name in britain during the war in accordance with a propaganda song demenaing his genetalia.  Ittla killed millions of people, so we should spell his name the way he wouldn't want it spelled, as a way to insult him from beyond the grave. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 So, I seem to have unfinished business, as I believe that certain names don't have plural forms yet.  No matter.  I will continue to solve the problems nobody was having by whining on the internet.  Now, I have determined the way all propper nouns ending in -os should be pluralised.  Now, I currently have a few plurals to draw on.  "rhinoceros", "latios", "tauros", and "gyarados" are all made plural by -otes.  For -as, it followes the "latias" paradigm, -ates.  So, "Thomas" would become "Thomates", and all is right with the world.  If you do not follow this, just have it be known that you sound very stupid because you cannot english good. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 Of course to negate the infinitive of a verb it should be split, but if you are negating the present tense of a verb without an -s on the end of it due to it needing to agree with the subject, then you must negate, if using simple present tense, use the negation suffix.  "doesn't" and "don't" are incorrect in these cases because that also marks the negation as of the eternal tense.  The correct way to negate is to use -n't.  This means that the satement without -n't is one of falsehood, and that it furthermore is, in fact, not true.  An example would be "I drinkn't alcohol".  This is implying that it is the present, and the moments surrounding, not simply the present state of the subject, but it also applies to the object in the same way.  It is also destinguished from "isn't _____ing" because that is the now-tense. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

"Cyng" and "cween" are the correct spellings.  These harken back to the old spellings of the old english language, with the spelling of "cyng" used even back then, and "cween" from "cwēn" but replacing the macron with a doubling of the letter in question.  These are the correct spellings no matter what anyone says, especially if they spell "cyng" with a "k". CHANGE MY MIND!!!

    While usually for nouns which are fantasy creatures, one should use the plural made up by that person who made up the creation, pokemon doesn't seem to do that.  I have taken it upon my self, as the self appointed grammar policeman, to tell you how to make pokemon names plural.  "gyarados" you would expect to have a plural befitting a greek word.  You might expect "gyaradoi" or something similar, or "gyaradi" if you spell it wrong.  However, it is in fact, as I now by the power vested in me by having a blog, that the plurals of "gyarados", "tauros", “Latios” and “Latias” to be “gyaradotes”, “taurotes”, “Latiotes”, and “Latiates”.  Also, “obstagoon”, “rillaboom”, “yungoos”, “sligoo”, and “goomy” become “obstageen”, “rillabeem”, “yungees”, “sligee”, and “geemy” respectively.  Additionally, some pokémon even have two possible correct plurals.  For example “kabutops” has both “kabutopes” and “kabutopsen” as two possible correct plur

      I have stumbled upon a post by lexico saying that "cacti" is wrong, and so is "viri".  They are wrong.  Their logic is that since these words aren't latin in origin, we can't pluralise them with -i.  Pay no attention to these ignorami.  It is only correct to pluralise multisylabic words ending in "-us" and not in "-ous" with "-i" or "-odes".  ie. "cactodes" and "cacti" are correct, but "cactuses" isn't, despite what Lexico would have you believe.  An exception to this rule is "nucleus" when used in the context of a cell.  Also, Lexico says "algæ", of all things, is correct, and the plural of "alga" as opposed to "algie", "alge", "algea" being the correct way to refer to it.  Algea is the correct term which is an uncountable noun, and the word "alga" which Lexico made up should only be used if you are writing fo

Tone punctuation, the collective term for the exclamation point, question mark, interrobang, and slash ess, can be placed in parentheses to mark something as only somewhat alarming, only kind of a question, a rhetorical question where one kinda wants to know the answer, and a semisarcastic statement (ie. most of the posts on this blog).  These should be placed with the same rules as "/s", covered in another post in this blog. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

"/s" is the english punctuation used to mark sarcasm.  Nobody uses "⸮" for irony, and since it is supposed be used for rhetorical questions, it should be used for that, and not for sarcasm.   Let's get onto how you should use "/s".  If "/s" is used at the end of a paragraph to apply to the whole paragraph then then there should be a line break before the "/s".  "/s" should go after the punctuation mark if it applies to a whole sentence, and it should be put before the period if it applies only to the final clause of a compound or complex sentence, and after the comma at the end of a clause if applied to a clause not at the end of a sentence.  There should be no space if it is used to apply to an individual word, and before the comma but after a space if to a whole item of a list composed of multiple words.  This also works for a clause if it is not part of a list. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

If a question is the first part of a compound sentence, and is handwritten, then the glyph should have a comma replacing the period at the bottom.  The same goes for excalmation points if the exclamation ends halfway through the sentence.  Sadly, unicode doesn't have these glyphs, but for the question mark, it can be approximated by using "ʔ" with a combining comma below, as "ʔ̦".  For exclamation marks, "!," is okay, "‽".  For punctuation of sarcasm, since "/s" is seperate from sentence end punctuation, and can apply to a whole paragraph if it is the line after the paragraph, and as such ",/s" should be used with the sarcasm mark. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

It seems to be that some are saying that the plural of "corpus" is "corpora".  Clearly, it should be "corpi"or more correctly "corpodes".  actually, it's "corpodes", and "corpora" is actually the plural of the exact synonym "corporum", not of "corpus", and "corpora" is therefore able to be used interchangably with "corpodes", and, as per usual, "corporums" and "corpuses" are completely wrong. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The correct plural of "mook" is "meek".  "mooks" Is always wrong, and should never be used if you want to sound like a person and not an idiot.  CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 If a name ends with -“us” then its plural ends in “odes”.  An example would be “Jesus” becoming “Jesodes”.   CHANGE MY MIND!!! //Thanks for u/ThatOneWeirdName for this idea.

 Split infinitives are the correct form.  "I want to not do it" is correct, not "I want not to do it".  If you want an overformal/pretentious/selfimportant tone, then you should not split the infinitive, as always, grammar can be broken for characterisation or for dramatic effect, but in flat prose, and especially in nonfiction, the correct way to negate an infinitive is to split it. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

"Mongeese", "hice", and "meese" are acceptable plurals, as well as "mongooses", "houses", and "mooses".  All of these are correct, and there can be more than one plural for each word, all of which may be used interchangably, however, as will be per usual, irregulars are preferable, especially "mongeese". In the interest of regularity, the extention of the "geese" and "mouse" paradigm should be extended to include "mongoose", "house", and "moose".  And I have, as a person on the internet, made it right by putting it in a style guide that you can cite. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The word "iff" while it started as an abbreviation, if there are no decimal points, it should be pronounced as /ɪfː/, or something like that, with a geminate /f/, however your dialect realises /f/ is fine, but it must be geminate, or sustained for longer that you would if you were saying "if".  Otherwise, you are mispronouncing "iff".  It may have begun as an abbreviation of "if and only if", but when not wirtten "iff." or "i.f.f." or with some other combination of periods in the middle of it, it is a word, and not an abbreviation, and should be pronounced as such. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 "Ain't" is only correct under one condition, and that is as a contraxion of "am not".  "I ain't going to do it" for instince is correct, but "he ain't" isn't.  Lots of people say it is wrong.  It isn't, it is correct as much as "isn't" or "aren't" are when they are used with the correct subject. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The title of “sir” should never be used to refer to somebody who is not a knight.  It is only proper to use the prefix of “sir” when the person actually has been bestowed a knighthood.  The correct term is “Guv”.  In the military they should correct the standard response to “guv yes guv”. CHANGE MY MIND!!! Edit: This rule has an exception where a nonknight may be called "sir" in a mocking tone as an insult, mocking how full of themselves they are.