The Tom Patterson Style Guide

    While usually for nouns which are fantasy creatures, one should use the plural made up by that person who made up the creation, pokemon doesn't seem to do that.  I have taken it upon my self, as the self appointed grammar policeman, to tell you how to make pokemon names plural.  "gyarados" you would expect to have a plural befitting a greek word.  You might expect "gyaradoi" or something similar, or "gyaradi" if you spell it wrong.  However, it is in fact, as I now by the power vested in me by having a blog, that the plurals of "gyarados", "tauros", “Latios” and “Latias” to be “gyaradotes”, “taurotes”, “Latiotes”, and “Latiates”.  Also, “obstagoon”, “rillaboom”, “yungoos”, “sligoo”, and “goomy” become “obstageen”, “rillabeem”, “yungees”, “sligee”, and “geemy” respectively.  Additionally, some pokémon even have two possible correct plurals.  For example “kabutops” has both “kabutopes” and “kabutopsen” as two possible correct plur...

      I have stumbled upon a post by lexico saying that "cacti" is wrong, and so is "viri".  They are wrong.  Their logic is that since these words aren't latin in origin, we can't pluralise them with -i.  Pay no attention to these ignorami.  It is only correct to pluralise multisylabic words ending in "-us" and not in "-ous" with "-i" or "-odes".  ie. "cactodes" and "cacti" are correct, but "cactuses" isn't, despite what Lexico would have you believe.  An exception to this rule is "nucleus" when used in the context of a cell.  Also, Lexico says "algæ", of all things, is correct, and the plural of "alga" as opposed to "algie", "alge", "algea" being the correct way to refer to it.  Algea is the correct term which is an uncountable noun, and the word "alga" which Lexico made up should only be used if you are writing fo...

Tone punctuation, the collective term for the exclamation point, question mark, interrobang, and slash ess, can be placed in parentheses to mark something as only somewhat alarming, only kind of a question, a rhetorical question where one kinda wants to know the answer, and a semisarcastic statement (ie. most of the posts on this blog).  These should be placed with the same rules as "/s", covered in another post in this blog. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

"/s" is the english punctuation used to mark sarcasm.  Nobody uses "⸮" for irony, and since it is supposed be used for rhetorical questions, it should be used for that, and not for sarcasm.   Let's get onto how you should use "/s".  If "/s" is used at the end of a paragraph to apply to the whole paragraph then then there should be a line break before the "/s".  "/s" should go after the punctuation mark if it applies to a whole sentence, and it should be put before the period if it applies only to the final clause of a compound or complex sentence, and after the comma at the end of a clause if applied to a clause not at the end of a sentence.  There should be no space if it is used to apply to an individual word, and before the comma but after a space if to a whole item of a list composed of multiple words.  This also works for a clause if it is not part of a list. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

If a question is the first part of a compound sentence, and is handwritten, then the glyph should have a comma replacing the period at the bottom.  The same goes for excalmation points if the exclamation ends halfway through the sentence.  Sadly, unicode doesn't have these glyphs, but for the question mark, it can be approximated by using "ʔ" with a combining comma below, as "ʔ̦".  For exclamation marks, "!," is okay, "‽".  For punctuation of sarcasm, since "/s" is seperate from sentence end punctuation, and can apply to a whole paragraph if it is the line after the paragraph, and as such ",/s" should be used with the sarcasm mark. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

It seems to be that some are saying that the plural of "corpus" is "corpora".  Clearly, it should be "corpi"or more correctly "corpodes".  actually, it's "corpodes", and "corpora" is actually the plural of the exact synonym "corporum", not of "corpus", and "corpora" is therefore able to be used interchangably with "corpodes", and, as per usual, "corporums" and "corpuses" are completely wrong. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The correct plural of "mook" is "meek".  "mooks" Is always wrong, and should never be used if you want to sound like a person and not an idiot.  CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 If a name ends with -“us” then its plural ends in “odes”.  An example would be “Jesus” becoming “Jesodes”.   CHANGE MY MIND!!! //Thanks for u/ThatOneWeirdName for this idea.

 Split infinitives are the correct form.  "I want to not do it" is correct, not "I want not to do it".  If you want an overformal/pretentious/selfimportant tone, then you should not split the infinitive, as always, grammar can be broken for characterisation or for dramatic effect, but in flat prose, and especially in nonfiction, the correct way to negate an infinitive is to split it. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

"Mongeese", "hice", and "meese" are acceptable plurals, as well as "mongooses", "houses", and "mooses".  All of these are correct, and there can be more than one plural for each word, all of which may be used interchangably, however, as will be per usual, irregulars are preferable, especially "mongeese". In the interest of regularity, the extention of the "geese" and "mouse" paradigm should be extended to include "mongoose", "house", and "moose".  And I have, as a person on the internet, made it right by putting it in a style guide that you can cite. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The word "iff" while it started as an abbreviation, if there are no decimal points, it should be pronounced as /ɪfː/, or something like that, with a geminate /f/, however your dialect realises /f/ is fine, but it must be geminate, or sustained for longer that you would if you were saying "if".  Otherwise, you are mispronouncing "iff".  It may have begun as an abbreviation of "if and only if", but when not wirtten "iff." or "i.f.f." or with some other combination of periods in the middle of it, it is a word, and not an abbreviation, and should be pronounced as such. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 "Ain't" is only correct under one condition, and that is as a contraxion of "am not".  "I ain't going to do it" for instince is correct, but "he ain't" isn't.  Lots of people say it is wrong.  It isn't, it is correct as much as "isn't" or "aren't" are when they are used with the correct subject. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 The title of “sir” should never be used to refer to somebody who is not a knight.  It is only proper to use the prefix of “sir” when the person actually has been bestowed a knighthood.  The correct term is “Guv”.  In the military they should correct the standard response to “guv yes guv”. CHANGE MY MIND!!! Edit: This rule has an exception where a nonknight may be called "sir" in a mocking tone as an insult, mocking how full of themselves they are.