The Tom Patterson Style Guide

 It has come to my attention that some are spelling a certain rude word for the female reproductive system incorrectly.  "Cunt", when used to refer to the female reproductive organs should be spelled "queynte", whereas the more Scottish or Australian senses should be considered more mundane, and continue tot be spelled "cunt".  I believe that this splitting of spelling will be able to aaid in the usage of spelling to disambiguate homophones in the written word. CHANGE MY MIND!!!

 It has recently come to my attention that people in Belize do not count by scores.  I consider this a grave affront to the Mesoamerican Sprachbund.  Furthermore, they do not begin every sentence with a verb, especially if it isn't a question, nor do they mark possession with the form "its dialect, Belizes".  If you are from Belize and reading this, what are you afraid of?  Speak your dialect correctly so its more interesting!   CHANGE MY MIND!!! PS. Also, english already has some prepositions as body parts, so making "tongue to" or "in tongue of" a word for inside would be a very nice relational noun.

 It has recently come to my attention that I may've been spreading misinformation.  I would like to apologise for neglecting the important distinction between "guv" and "guv'na".  "Guv" is to be used with people of authority you know well, like your boss, whereas "guv'na" is to be used when meating them for the first time, or with a stranger of authority.  Nonetheless, "sir" should only be used to refer to knights. CHANGE MY MIND!!!